I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Randomize
