Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Randomize
