His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
