I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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