but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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