drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
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