): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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