Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
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