You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
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