I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
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