Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Randomize