i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
Liz is crying about burritos again.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
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