i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
Randomize
