Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
