You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
