In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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