Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
Still dying that you shit outside
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Randomize
