Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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