i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize