I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Randomize
