Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
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