You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
did you just send me my own nude
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
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