I seem to have left my pride at pride
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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