How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
You're a waste of cheezeits
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
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