he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
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