I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Randomize
