I don't think brook has ever known best
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
Im part way to drunk.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Randomize
