just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
My breasts were aching with rage.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
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