I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
