he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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