If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
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