dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
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