Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
We have so much sex to catch up on
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
Randomize
