I like to think it a success when the cops are called
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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