So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize