I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
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