i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize
