I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
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