the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
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