You just made me feel so damn special
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
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