Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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