If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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