we're blogging at a bar
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
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