For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
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