EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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