I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
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