Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
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