I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
You have to summon your inner elephant
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
Randomize
