I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
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