i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
Randomize
