brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
That's intense
Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize