Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
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