you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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