i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
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