I wanna bring you to show and tell
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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