Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
