ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
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