She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
The adults are the big ones right?
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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