he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize