Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
