i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Randomize
