so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
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