I'm laying in your front yard are you home
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
two words...techno handjob
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
Randomize
