just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
