he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize
