He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
Randomize
